Lately

So we've been really been in a good place lately... Things going well, feeling good. Of course we have our minor woes.... one of which I am having a hard time with is Shea and his nighttime nursing and restlessness issues, which I am hopefully is revolving around teething. But over the last several nights we've been testing the waters of me sleeping elsewhere (as a pediatrician suggestion)... not next to him at night and he tends to sleep a 'bit' better. But I have to say, it just plain sucks. I hate not sleeping next to my baby. I hate having to get up and go to him when it's nursing time. It feels unnatural and just plain exhausting. Seringe does not think it has anything to do with me and says that he will just get over it.... it is by far our worst sleeper of the three. So it's probably something we just have to deal with and eventually he'll finally sleep! Or at least hope so!



The other is Kaidin and his inability to be flexible with others needs or desires. Prime example is when Dahlia and I would love to do an activity one day and he is so totally opposed to the idea that it causes havoc in all of our lives. I have tried relentlessly to talk this out with him and sort of negotiate to the point that "hey we do this stuff with you when you need/want, how about giving it a chance and then we can ... ". But this is not something he wants to hear. And I am trying endlessly to understand that. Everyone's needs here are different. As a mama it's easier for me to put mine on the back-burner for now. But also as a mama, I struggle with Dahlia having to put her's on the back-burner. She's the one I wonder about her growing needs, passions, interests, hobbies, etc. etc.. She's spent SO long following suit to her brother, and that was great for them and their relationship... but now she's growing and trying to figure out "her thing", and I want to support that so desperately. If she's showing interest in somethin' I want to support her exploration, just as Kaidin has gotten throughout his growing and development. But desperately struggle with Kaidin's inability to go along or be supportive of that process as it's blossoming. I do gather that he's going through his own thing as well.... so this too can be temporary and passing.



Ah.... so Kaidin's BIG (FIRST) show is this weekend. He's doing the Circus/MacSith performance on Sunday and SO excited about the whole thing. It's been an amazing process... this entire class. I have seen him grow into this totally new person. I was trying to explain to someone the other day... "I truly feel like I am getting to know this brand new little man... it's remarkable". The class, and maybe just natural growth and development that comes along with being 7... and Kaidin... but he's just become someone I could not have ever imagined. Remarkable, whitty, comical... a performer. Not what I would have ever thought of my little lap-sittin-mama's boy who'd never give anyone time of day when he was just 2 yrs old! Ah.... motherhood. It's a remarkable ride if you can relax and enjoy even the hardest moments.


His passions for Bionicles even subsided a bit. He told me on his 7th b-day that he really feels seven.... but more accurately said "I feel different. Like a big kid. I'm seven now but really I think I'm 12". He's a boy so eager to grow up I am so not sure how or where that came from, but he's just so eager to be a BIG kid. Dahlia certainly has not come to that point yet.


So... looking and feeling the goodness and how I feel like we are in a great place right now. I think that may be because the process of deschooling has been really good for me lately. I feel like as much as we grow to trust the process for our kids, we also grow to trust ourselves. Lately I have had a couple inquiries about us and our unschooling life choices, and really has brought to my attention how much more comfortable I am feeling about our life path... Looking back since the very beginning when I did not even realize that I was going to be homeschooling in the first place, and now feeling quite comfortable not only unschooling, but life learning and/or radically doing so. The people who have posed those questions to me lately have really forced me to step back and look at it more deeply. And wow, it's just felt really really good to feel I am so incredibly comfortable with where our family is right now that I feel far (FAR) less pressured by what everyone else around us is up to and doing. (Explaining that may take me far more time than my eyes can manage to stay open for, so I'm going to leave it at that.... )


SO... it was a family choice that instead of signing up for more classes this Spring we were going on a museum tour. We are going to 1-2 places a week, depending on free days and distances, and going to check out several new places that we've never been to before. Greatly looking forward to it. Will be a fun filled 2 months before (hopefully) summer weather hits and we are on the beaches, parks and pools. Of course, there are 2 class options for us, if they actually do happen. Kaidin may be doing a 4-5 week circus class... Dahlia may be doing a 4 week art class. All depends on if the classes actually run. But if not, we have our museum stops along the way.


Also coming up is Shea's first b-day, May 1, and Dahlia's 5th on May 31st! The thought brings tears to my eyes.... I can't go there just yet! ; )