So this is what it's like...

So, here I am really REALLY trying to "let go"... of virtually everything so ingrained in me, that it's really become an intense process. But truly inspired by the radical unschoolers I have had the pleasure of reading of and about, and truly wanting this lifestyle to become so natural that I don't even have to think about it any longer. Just second nature... that would be the accomplished goal here...

This evening I think we are off to a good start. Well, this whole week has been a build up... several 'build up's' of letting go. Of course there have been bits and pieces of every day that I have been really proud of myself, and bits and pieces where I was not the proudest mama in the world. But I do have to say that I am really trying. The funny thing is, I find that all of this time, my husband has always been a radical unschooler, and I have had no clue... not only about the radical unschooling lifestyle, but that HE truly IS an unschooler. (Of course, he would never realize that there is a label for what he does so naturally!)

Anyway... this evening... we're just hanging out. The kids did as they pleased all day long... They've become true 'grazers' in every sense of the word. But Kaidin will still say something to eat is 'some' meal during his day, but meals are somewhat abolished at this point. And I had the FUN luxury of going to the library to read, while SBJ hung out with the kids before he departed for work. After we drove him to work, we decided to head to Target where we could use our fun xmas gift cards! A good 2 hours later, we did SO great that we left the store with bags of goodies, and only $.03 remaining on one of the gift cards! Not too bad, eh?

At home, the kids ventured into all of their new toys, and watched a movie. I was able to get a few things done, and then felt totally exhausted. Kids, however, were sure that they did not want to go to bed. SBJ calls and is ready to leave work, so we decide to go pick him up... Does not seem like such a big deal, but leaving after 9pm with kids in tote to pick him up somewhere has NEVER happened before. Kids just randomly being up 'because they want to' has never happened before either...

Dahlia fought so hard to keep her eyes open until daddy was in the car. The second he gave her his loving hug and kiss hello, she crashed... hard core crashed. Kinda cute...

Kaidin is still up... hanging out behind me blowing air in my hair... it's 'only' 11:10pm, and he is showing no signs of ever going to bed. Me, on the other hand, can not keep my eyes open...

Box o' bandaids!

This picure speaks for itself... Who doesn't love bandaids... eh?

The other afternoon...

Kaidin got into his dinasour excitment. He goes back in forth between the wild cats and the prehistoric animals... and even more so... the prehistoric wild cats! Anyway, in the past he has always asked that we find audio, online, to hear what certain wild cats (or any animal for that matter) sounds like. He intently listens and attempts to imitate to a "T"...

So the other afternoon he was determined that we find out what a certain dinasour sounds likes. I attempted to explain the entire dinasour-before-man-thing, and the fact that they were presently 'extinct' and this sparked an entirely new interest. He (in his 4.5 yr. old mind) did not realize that we would not come across a dinosaur one day. (Too cute.) So then we got into research, looking up various websites that had tons of pic's about the theories behind extinction...

Along the way, we found this AMAZING site! BBC, has this entirely free, downloadable 'game' that takes you into a 3-D world of dinosaurs! We have played nearly every day since, and he is just amazed at how he can manipulate through this amazing world. It is completely narrative to everything in the age of the dinosaurs you are seeing as well. It makes me dizzy at times, but it is quite fancinating!

ZOO lights!

An adventure to Brookfield Zoo to see the zoo lights! What a sight...

We have never been to this zoo before. Arrived quite early thinking that we'd see a bunch of the animals and it took us a good 2 hours just to get through 3 exhibits.

The lights were spectacular and we enjoyed the evening. Grandma went with... broken arm and all. Seemed to enjoy regardless. It was a nice event after the christmas rush... nice to just get out and enjoy this amazingly mild winter weather we've been having! I think we'll get a memebership to this zoo for the spring on through the following year. It's a remarkable extablishment.

So... the first exhibit that we visit HAD to be the wild cats... of course. This is the largest talked about topic in our home these days. This amazing lion just knew that Kaidin was 'the man'... He was lazily laying on the other side of this log you see pictured here when we first walked up. And then just as if he 'knew' that Kaidin was there just for him... he gets up, walks right over to this viewing window we were standing at, and rubs against the glass. He then paces around and let's out these amazing roars... literally went on for a good 30-45 seconds. Kaidin was in AWE... he was so astounded that he ended up getting back into the stroller... not too sure what to think about this whole experience!

Time to ponder...

It's been some time... a little hiatus is just what I needed to try to figure things out... more so for myself, and then for our family. I had found myself on straying paths, not too sure which way we were headed and what we were doing in everyday life was 'right' for us. After the wonderful summer camp we had, I ventured into planning this homeschool group that would run for the school year. The idea was great on paper, but has not been the smoothest journey ever.

They year got off to a rocky start... after all, after such a fantastic summer camp with some really magnificent families, this new concept had a lot to live up to. At least half of the families that played in the summer, were unable to do the school year group with us due to actual preschool, jobs, and other schedule conflicts. We had another fantastic size group in place though, and I was very excited about the prospect of what was about to happen.

Over the last few months, we had some fabulous 'classes... along the way lot's of changing and re-vamping of what *could* (possibly) make the classes 'better'. What I feel it's all boiled down to is that of the 9 families that participate, we all have very different views of what we want to get out of a group like this, what homeschooling means to us, and what it doesn't to some. So when we get to those very basics, the group is only going to be what you want to take from it, and leave the rest behind.

During the process of this evolution, I have found myself literally forced to take a good look at what is 'right' for our family. What feels good, what's going to work... what true journey are we ready to embark on?

I have been venturing into the unschooling world quite a bit. I have done tons of research on this 'label' and joined several unschooling and radical unschooling list serves. All of which have inspired me tremendously.

Now... I am definitely not one to set labels on me nor my family. I feel that labels are VERY restrictive in life in general, but all the more reason I have feel I have been drawn to this radical unschooling way of life. I have been drawn to the attachment parenting support group role for this very reason as well... and radical unschooling... to me, feels like an extension of of AP. I feel as though it's a lifestyle choice, and not and 'education' choice... to homeschool or to unschool, or to just live life with everything as one...

WELL... This certainly does not meant that we have suddenly gone 'cold-turkey' on many of the things that revolve around our lives... I feel deeply that this type of lifestyle is a work in progress. There are so many things that are so hard to just 'let go' of. I feel as though some of these things are so ingrained in my inner sole (from my childhood) that this is a life altering process. There are things that I need to let go of, and this does not happen overnight. There are things in our parenting that we've done since Kaidin was born (i.e. regime bedtimes... ) that to me, seems to need to take time to release. All of which works around a very 'regimented' lifestyle of work... the outside world plays such an impact on how we can/can not unschool in so many ways.

Anyway... as mentioned... it's still a work in progress. Everyday I read posts from the RUL list and AlwaysUnschooled and continue to be truly inspired. I feel as though I am mustering up the courage to write to these groups to ask people about their defunking process. Surely there must be others who have embarked on these journeys with as much baggae as I... and to have to deprogram to enjoy life with your truly amazing children, is something I am more than willing to do, day in and day out...

One day... when I have internalized and processed enough to muster up and ask... one day...