Today was fun!

So, it's nearly 'our turn' for study group. And Kaidin is really wanting to discuss Komodo Dragons while Dahlia is really very much into the wild cat thing. She wants to read and talk about Tigers this time around... I feel part of this is stemming from her strong desire to have a pet kitty = ) But that's just mother's intuition speaking. We have opted for origami tiger finger puppets... we'll see how that activity is played out by all as we have really (really) gotten into the study of wild cats in this house and I am running out of ideas here! = )

Kaidin's adventure into Komodo Dragon's has been quite interesting. Learning a ton about a reptile I may have never given time of day to! Today we were surfing the web before leaving the house and came across a youtube video that he thought was so fantastic he wanted to put it on a dvd to watch it over and over again.

I do forewarn... this is about the nastiest thing I've ever seen... Only view if you are not easily queezy!

So after our fun filled morning of scopping out the Komodo's, we headed out of house for an adventure filled afternoon/evening. This weather has just been so miserable... affecting all of our moods. Cold and drizzly... cloudy and foggy. Today's activites were just what we needed to really have some fun. First stop was the Mitchell Museum in Evanston with our homeschool families. As much as my kiddos are really not into the study of native american indians, they really did retain a bunch of cool info and have a blast with their friends! Then it was off to Evanston's lighting of their christmas tree! Can't even believe that tree lighting now takes place before Thanksgiving! But it was quite fun despite the weather. Even caught a glimpse of Santa who came flying in on the big ol' ladder fire truck!

Spoiled Rotten? Spoiled Ripe! by Scott Noelle

Spoiled Rotten? Spoiled Ripe!
by Scott Noellehttp://www.scottnoelle.com/
Text: Sm Med Large
From Issue #4 of Transforming Parenthood
Nothing belies our culture’s negative attitudes towards children like the derogatory language we use to describe them: “terrible twos,” “little tyrant,” and of course, “spoiled.”
The word spoiled — attributed to anyone, especially a child, who gets whatever he or she wants — is a metaphor that evokes images of rotting food. Don’t ask me how this usage came about. I guess the point is that when a person is “spoiled rotten” he is deemed unfit for anything but the garbage can.
But what’s so bad about getting what you want? Isn’t getting it the whole point of wanting it? Here’s where one of our culture’s most destructive beliefs is exposed: the belief in scarcity, or the idea that there is never enough in the world to fulfill our desires, so we should desire less.
This belief is mostly unfounded, but not entirely. For example, if you want to cut down a hundred trees a day, the forest will eventually deny you that indulgence. But there is nothing overindulgent about wanting to experience love, pleasure, fun, comfort and joy. Yet we often call children (and ourselves) “spoiled” when these needs and desires are fully and unconditionally satisfied.
What’s Going On Here?
In a word: story.
The scarcity principle is one of the central stories that informs our culture and frames our perceptions. This story is told to us over and over in a thousand subtle and unsubtle ways, from sayings like “you can’t always get what you want” and “money doesn’t grow on trees” to fairy tales like Cinderella and Jack and the Beanstalk to the endless drone of TV commercials urging us to buy now, “while supplies last.” The underlying message in so many of our stories is that there’s never enough to go around, but if you’re more virtuous — smarter, stronger, more beautiful, harder working, etc. — you might just get what you want... usually at someone else’s expense.
The belief in scarcity is central to the competition mindset. We are taught to interpret every experience as a win or a loss — to believe that even games played purely for pleasure are more fun when winning is contingent on defeating opponents.
But when a baby comes into the world, she expects to win by default. That is, she expects her needs to be met, and she doesn’t expect to have to compete for them. This — the child’s first nature — runs so counter to our “second nature” enculturated belief in scarcity, that we doubt our instinct to give them all the nurturing they need and the loving attention they desire.
Mother Nature is overridden by the voice of Father Culture, which warns us that we are in danger of “spoiling” our children if we dare to give them what they want. It implores us to give less. We are told it’s our job as parents to help children get used to the idea of going without.
The baseline fear is that if we give our children what they want, they will always want more. However, this theory is rarely tested because we seldom keep giving until they are satisfied. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy because they don’t get enough opportunities to learn what “enough” feels like.
Rotting or Ripening: An Experiment
So if you ever feel like your child wants to be “spoiled,” I recommend you do a little experiment. Consciously drop all ideas of scarcity and spoilability, and fulfill the request joyfully with 100% willingness and no arbitrary limitations. Indulge in the pleasure of giving until your child feels satisfied and stops of his own accord. Be curious about how much he can take. Let the discovery of your child’s capacity to receive teach you about your own capacity to receive. Perhaps you’ll learn to let more goodness into your experience.
If you begin to exceed your own limits, then of course you should stop. Only give what you can give with integrity, from a sense of abundance. Remember that Love — the greatest gift you can ever give — is something you can never really run out of, even when other limits are reached. Love doesn’t come from you, it flows through you. So when you give love you are also receiving it.
Say YES to giving love even when you can’t or shouldn’t say yes to other things, and stay focused on that abundance.
Let me know what you discover!
Scott Noelle lives in the United States, near Seattle, with his wife Beth and their two children. A longtime advocate of conscious, holistic, instinctive, natural parenting, Scott offers telephone-based coaching to support progressive parents worldwide. His free E-zine, Transforming Parenthood, is available online at http://www.scottnoelle.com/
Web address of this article:http://www.scottnoelle.com/parenting/spoiled.htmHOME
Copyright©2005 by Scott Noelle. All Rights Reserved.

'Kid' Fun

http://www.buildyourwildself.com/

http://www.starfall.com/

http://www.yarr.org.uk/talk/

Ted

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/66_

Things We've Been Up To...

Cooking Class

Botanic Gardens

Last Possible Beach Day!

Exploring Dinosaurs! ~ Field Museum

Forest Preserve Adventure Walk

Halloween!!!

Beautiful Words To Strive For

Found this on one of my many yahoo group message boards... Resonates with me deeply... something I strive for each day of our lives together.

Danielle Conger wrote:
I think this is a common misconception, especially for those new to RU--even the name "radical" unschoolers seems to point to the idea that we're so radical because we not only let our kids do what ever they want with regard to education but that we've also thrown out all rules and limits and let them do whatever they want to do in all areas of life.I think the problem with that, besides the fact that no one gets to do whatever they want to do, is that it creates real potential for failure in family life, especially if it comes after strict control like a pendulum swing. Then, with the ensuing chaos and lack of consideration, parents throw up their hands and blame the crazy radical unschooling.Personally, the terms I find more closely allied with what we do in our family are autonomy and organic learning. We're really not"radical" people--well, yeah we are in some ways, but we're probably more flaky than anything else. *bwg* Both of those terms--autonomy and organic learning--seem to more accurately reflect the gentleness and free-form nature of how we interact. While we don't do rules, we do have personal limits and boundaries and preferences- -*all* of us,including the kids--and those are constantly being articulated,negotiated and renegotiated during our lives with each other. As one of our limits bumps up against another's desire, we have the opportunity for learning and growing--learning about each other,ourselves, communicating, stretching, thinking, problem-solving. That,to me, is one of the biggest differences between living a life with rules and living a life that respects each individual's autonomy.Sometimes, when one person bumps up against another's personal boundaries really hard, then the reaction can be just as dramatic.Certainly that's no one's goal, but it occasionally happens, just as it occasionally happens with a spouse or roommate or someone else with whom we live in close proximity. Even these moments, however, are opportunities to learn and grow. Maybe the person really crossed a line and the intensity of the reaction gives them opportunity to reflect and consider in a safe space; maybe the person who reacted was reacting to more than the immediate situation--past situations or issues perhaps bubbled to the surface, giving that person opportunity to dig back and process old issues.Communication, learning, growing, problem-solving, consideration,respect, autonomy, flexibility, trust...these are the words that describe our process, not "whatever."