Time to ponder...

It's been some time... a little hiatus is just what I needed to try to figure things out... more so for myself, and then for our family. I had found myself on straying paths, not too sure which way we were headed and what we were doing in everyday life was 'right' for us. After the wonderful summer camp we had, I ventured into planning this homeschool group that would run for the school year. The idea was great on paper, but has not been the smoothest journey ever.

They year got off to a rocky start... after all, after such a fantastic summer camp with some really magnificent families, this new concept had a lot to live up to. At least half of the families that played in the summer, were unable to do the school year group with us due to actual preschool, jobs, and other schedule conflicts. We had another fantastic size group in place though, and I was very excited about the prospect of what was about to happen.

Over the last few months, we had some fabulous 'classes... along the way lot's of changing and re-vamping of what *could* (possibly) make the classes 'better'. What I feel it's all boiled down to is that of the 9 families that participate, we all have very different views of what we want to get out of a group like this, what homeschooling means to us, and what it doesn't to some. So when we get to those very basics, the group is only going to be what you want to take from it, and leave the rest behind.

During the process of this evolution, I have found myself literally forced to take a good look at what is 'right' for our family. What feels good, what's going to work... what true journey are we ready to embark on?

I have been venturing into the unschooling world quite a bit. I have done tons of research on this 'label' and joined several unschooling and radical unschooling list serves. All of which have inspired me tremendously.

Now... I am definitely not one to set labels on me nor my family. I feel that labels are VERY restrictive in life in general, but all the more reason I have feel I have been drawn to this radical unschooling way of life. I have been drawn to the attachment parenting support group role for this very reason as well... and radical unschooling... to me, feels like an extension of of AP. I feel as though it's a lifestyle choice, and not and 'education' choice... to homeschool or to unschool, or to just live life with everything as one...

WELL... This certainly does not meant that we have suddenly gone 'cold-turkey' on many of the things that revolve around our lives... I feel deeply that this type of lifestyle is a work in progress. There are so many things that are so hard to just 'let go' of. I feel as though some of these things are so ingrained in my inner sole (from my childhood) that this is a life altering process. There are things that I need to let go of, and this does not happen overnight. There are things in our parenting that we've done since Kaidin was born (i.e. regime bedtimes... ) that to me, seems to need to take time to release. All of which works around a very 'regimented' lifestyle of work... the outside world plays such an impact on how we can/can not unschool in so many ways.

Anyway... as mentioned... it's still a work in progress. Everyday I read posts from the RUL list and AlwaysUnschooled and continue to be truly inspired. I feel as though I am mustering up the courage to write to these groups to ask people about their defunking process. Surely there must be others who have embarked on these journeys with as much baggae as I... and to have to deprogram to enjoy life with your truly amazing children, is something I am more than willing to do, day in and day out...

One day... when I have internalized and processed enough to muster up and ask... one day...