An open heart.

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noellewww.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove:: The Power of an Open Heart ::Think of something that always opens your heart.It can be anything: an uplifting story or movie, aninspiring song or poem, a glorious sunset, a majesticforest, a beloved friend's embrace, a purringkitten... You get the idea.Now contemplate it vividly until you actually *feel*your heart opening. Pay close attention to thatexpansive feeling in your chest, and try to "memorize"it. (For some, the feeling may be quite subtle atfirst.)Repeat this process until you can easily recall thefeeling of your heart being wide open.Next, set the intention that -- for one full day --you'll deliberately reach for that open-heart feeling*before* you do or say anything to your child...every time.This is not about being "nice." You can say "no" withyour heart wide open and it'll feel like a yes!Let go of all pre-conceived ideas of what an openheart is. Remember it's the *feeling* you're reaching for. http://dailygroove.net/open-heart

I just love this, and the very first moment that I thought was when my husband I reunited at Tendaba Camp in TG. We were returning from a week in the villages and I had not seen him since the previous week. Our bus pulled up and I saw him standing amoung a bunch of other volunteers. The second he saw me through the bus window his face lit up. For some reason, this one moment in time has been permanently etched in my mind and after reading this (above) I instantly reflected to this moment in life. That *one* look said it all to me...

Love this!

"When we adults think of children there is a simple truth that we ignore: childhood is not preparation for life; childhood is life. A child isn't getting ready to live; a child is living. No child will miss the zest and joy of living unless these are denied by adults who have convinced themselves that childhood is a period of preparation. How much heartache we would save ourselves if we would recognize children as partners with adults in the process of living, rather than always viewing them as apprentices. How much we could teach each other; we have the experience and they have the freshness. How full both our lives could be."
John A. Taylor Notes on an Unhurried Journey

Trains...

The latest... it was our turn to teach the FHC this past week. Felt like all this anticipation of trying to throw together this class... made me realize even more how much I love the idea of RU. The weather has been an atrocious sub-zero nightmare for the last week or more (feels like months at this point). I have been wanting to tackle so many other projects here around the house, and then suddenly it dawns on me, "Yikes... it's my turn to teach!"

The benefit was it retriggered Kaidin's first (but long lost) love of trains. When born, during that first year, that somewhat inherent trait of the pure passion to 'breathe' trains was something Kaidin fully went through. We fully satiated that topic. Did train exhibtions, museums, rides, resource books, collections... you name it. We followed Thomas nearly around the country! This need to *have* to teach trains reengaged that first love a bit. So that made it a bit more fun. I was truly worried that this would be so redundant that we would have wished we picked a different topic to teach!

Well... the class was not overly exciting, and after having planned for 16 children, only half showed each day. That in itself is quite depressing when you put so much time and effort into it... it's a real lull in your (my) personal excitment.

Oh well. Now recovering from that and trying to tackle the next project of cleaning out the enormous filing cabinet. I figure it's a good time as I had to gather papers, receipts and the like to get the taxes done here in the next few days, so good time to do the purging of documents as well. I put that poor shredder into overdrive (and overheating!) several times today. We headed out to get to playgroup and our poor car was solid frozen. Had to wait several hours to find a jump and then we were off and running, though not with out the panic in my head that the car would die at the grocery store or something.

I tell ya, I'm totally done with this cold weather. I could easily do with out this completely. It's not at all fun to feel the verge of frostbite just walking to your car!

Aside, there is an unschooling conference in Wisconsin on Saturday and I am not feeling the major push to get there. I hate paying for things like that and then backing out. But my drive to get there has diminished quite a bit. It would be a 3 hour trek for me each way, and this past few weeks has been rough. It would be nice to have a quiet weekend... AND, we do have the In-Home conference at the end of the month that I definitly do not want to miss at all. Can you tell I'm just making excuses here? Time to just fess up, I'm not going to make it out there after all am I?

True Inspiration

Found this today as I contemplate our attendance at the LL Conference this year... inspiration of what I hope to achieve sooner vs. later!

True test...

Today was not the greatest... I feel achy all over from the amount of stress resulting from a day of 'rage'. It seemed that not a one of us woke on the right side of the bed, and that not one was happy to see the other. It was one of those days that I sit back and question... "am I really doing what's 'right' for this family by moving towards/into RU, or am I in some dilliusional state of mind thinking this is what we need and will thrive on for life?"

Ugh... frustration... so much so that I can not sum it up today. Too much to digest and will have to come back tomorrow, fresh... a new leaf, right? One can hope.

Last but certainly not least for this evening....

My little body artist...

Fun with friends...

Do you have those set of friends that you see but once a year due to life's complex schedules? We had a blast catching up with ours at The Grove just a week or so ago...

Lions, Jaguarundis and setting traps...

So we were having this amazingly great winter weather and taking advantage of not freezing our butts off, we headed to Reyerson's Conversation Area. Kaidin literally could have been there ALL day long. He is a true nature boy and was just loving all of the uprooted trees. We had received tons of rain last summer and it appears in the heavily wooded areas, many of the larger long-standing trees had just literally fallen over from the lack of support to their roots. Kaidin said he was a lion in the jungle and was instructing Dahlia which animal he was to be, and which direction to head, etc. It was only after sheer exhaustion (on Dahlia's part that we had to pry him away from what he said was a damn breaking. This massive uprooted try had all of this dry mud on it and he was on a mission to get the roots thoroughly clean... or to "break the damn". A real riot... Of course, not so much so when his sister was about to pass out from lack of food and sleep and she wanted to head out. Could you believe that a preservation like this one does not allow picnics? I thought it quite odd myself...
On the way out, however, they were both highly distracted by this rooster who not only crowed at them, but figured he'd just chase both of them the entier perimeter of the fence! These two would run from one end of the coop to the other end of yard and this little white rooster would chase them the whole way. Sheer entertainment for a good thirty more minutes!

After that major run, we had our little *car* picnic and headed over the forest preserves in Glenview. By that point, Dahlia had passed out in the car for her little siesta, and I had the luxury of one eye on a book and one eye on our jaguarundi in the jungle 'setting traps'. To this day, it's on our 'to-do' list to get back over to that forest and 'check our traps'!

Ok... so I stink

I am just not the best blogger in the world! I envy the women who are able to put time and energy into their blogs! I enjoy every minute of their writings, their pictures... their links... I am trying and trying. I find this a beautiful expression of what life has been for us as unschoolers... as we slowly but surely move in the 'radical' unschooling direction! I do see this in the near future. I try hard to revert... it's much like a brainwashing ritual. I find it very difficult to let go of what is so deep-seeded in me.

Anyway... aside from my 'excuses' from not writing or keeping tabs on our journey.... I have some great photos to share! I will post them shortly with a little 'adventure' re. each.

So this is what it's like...

So, here I am really REALLY trying to "let go"... of virtually everything so ingrained in me, that it's really become an intense process. But truly inspired by the radical unschoolers I have had the pleasure of reading of and about, and truly wanting this lifestyle to become so natural that I don't even have to think about it any longer. Just second nature... that would be the accomplished goal here...

This evening I think we are off to a good start. Well, this whole week has been a build up... several 'build up's' of letting go. Of course there have been bits and pieces of every day that I have been really proud of myself, and bits and pieces where I was not the proudest mama in the world. But I do have to say that I am really trying. The funny thing is, I find that all of this time, my husband has always been a radical unschooler, and I have had no clue... not only about the radical unschooling lifestyle, but that HE truly IS an unschooler. (Of course, he would never realize that there is a label for what he does so naturally!)

Anyway... this evening... we're just hanging out. The kids did as they pleased all day long... They've become true 'grazers' in every sense of the word. But Kaidin will still say something to eat is 'some' meal during his day, but meals are somewhat abolished at this point. And I had the FUN luxury of going to the library to read, while SBJ hung out with the kids before he departed for work. After we drove him to work, we decided to head to Target where we could use our fun xmas gift cards! A good 2 hours later, we did SO great that we left the store with bags of goodies, and only $.03 remaining on one of the gift cards! Not too bad, eh?

At home, the kids ventured into all of their new toys, and watched a movie. I was able to get a few things done, and then felt totally exhausted. Kids, however, were sure that they did not want to go to bed. SBJ calls and is ready to leave work, so we decide to go pick him up... Does not seem like such a big deal, but leaving after 9pm with kids in tote to pick him up somewhere has NEVER happened before. Kids just randomly being up 'because they want to' has never happened before either...

Dahlia fought so hard to keep her eyes open until daddy was in the car. The second he gave her his loving hug and kiss hello, she crashed... hard core crashed. Kinda cute...

Kaidin is still up... hanging out behind me blowing air in my hair... it's 'only' 11:10pm, and he is showing no signs of ever going to bed. Me, on the other hand, can not keep my eyes open...

Box o' bandaids!

This picure speaks for itself... Who doesn't love bandaids... eh?

The other afternoon...

Kaidin got into his dinasour excitment. He goes back in forth between the wild cats and the prehistoric animals... and even more so... the prehistoric wild cats! Anyway, in the past he has always asked that we find audio, online, to hear what certain wild cats (or any animal for that matter) sounds like. He intently listens and attempts to imitate to a "T"...

So the other afternoon he was determined that we find out what a certain dinasour sounds likes. I attempted to explain the entire dinasour-before-man-thing, and the fact that they were presently 'extinct' and this sparked an entirely new interest. He (in his 4.5 yr. old mind) did not realize that we would not come across a dinosaur one day. (Too cute.) So then we got into research, looking up various websites that had tons of pic's about the theories behind extinction...

Along the way, we found this AMAZING site! BBC, has this entirely free, downloadable 'game' that takes you into a 3-D world of dinosaurs! We have played nearly every day since, and he is just amazed at how he can manipulate through this amazing world. It is completely narrative to everything in the age of the dinosaurs you are seeing as well. It makes me dizzy at times, but it is quite fancinating!

ZOO lights!

An adventure to Brookfield Zoo to see the zoo lights! What a sight...

We have never been to this zoo before. Arrived quite early thinking that we'd see a bunch of the animals and it took us a good 2 hours just to get through 3 exhibits.

The lights were spectacular and we enjoyed the evening. Grandma went with... broken arm and all. Seemed to enjoy regardless. It was a nice event after the christmas rush... nice to just get out and enjoy this amazingly mild winter weather we've been having! I think we'll get a memebership to this zoo for the spring on through the following year. It's a remarkable extablishment.

So... the first exhibit that we visit HAD to be the wild cats... of course. This is the largest talked about topic in our home these days. This amazing lion just knew that Kaidin was 'the man'... He was lazily laying on the other side of this log you see pictured here when we first walked up. And then just as if he 'knew' that Kaidin was there just for him... he gets up, walks right over to this viewing window we were standing at, and rubs against the glass. He then paces around and let's out these amazing roars... literally went on for a good 30-45 seconds. Kaidin was in AWE... he was so astounded that he ended up getting back into the stroller... not too sure what to think about this whole experience!

Time to ponder...

It's been some time... a little hiatus is just what I needed to try to figure things out... more so for myself, and then for our family. I had found myself on straying paths, not too sure which way we were headed and what we were doing in everyday life was 'right' for us. After the wonderful summer camp we had, I ventured into planning this homeschool group that would run for the school year. The idea was great on paper, but has not been the smoothest journey ever.

They year got off to a rocky start... after all, after such a fantastic summer camp with some really magnificent families, this new concept had a lot to live up to. At least half of the families that played in the summer, were unable to do the school year group with us due to actual preschool, jobs, and other schedule conflicts. We had another fantastic size group in place though, and I was very excited about the prospect of what was about to happen.

Over the last few months, we had some fabulous 'classes... along the way lot's of changing and re-vamping of what *could* (possibly) make the classes 'better'. What I feel it's all boiled down to is that of the 9 families that participate, we all have very different views of what we want to get out of a group like this, what homeschooling means to us, and what it doesn't to some. So when we get to those very basics, the group is only going to be what you want to take from it, and leave the rest behind.

During the process of this evolution, I have found myself literally forced to take a good look at what is 'right' for our family. What feels good, what's going to work... what true journey are we ready to embark on?

I have been venturing into the unschooling world quite a bit. I have done tons of research on this 'label' and joined several unschooling and radical unschooling list serves. All of which have inspired me tremendously.

Now... I am definitely not one to set labels on me nor my family. I feel that labels are VERY restrictive in life in general, but all the more reason I have feel I have been drawn to this radical unschooling way of life. I have been drawn to the attachment parenting support group role for this very reason as well... and radical unschooling... to me, feels like an extension of of AP. I feel as though it's a lifestyle choice, and not and 'education' choice... to homeschool or to unschool, or to just live life with everything as one...

WELL... This certainly does not meant that we have suddenly gone 'cold-turkey' on many of the things that revolve around our lives... I feel deeply that this type of lifestyle is a work in progress. There are so many things that are so hard to just 'let go' of. I feel as though some of these things are so ingrained in my inner sole (from my childhood) that this is a life altering process. There are things that I need to let go of, and this does not happen overnight. There are things in our parenting that we've done since Kaidin was born (i.e. regime bedtimes... ) that to me, seems to need to take time to release. All of which works around a very 'regimented' lifestyle of work... the outside world plays such an impact on how we can/can not unschool in so many ways.

Anyway... as mentioned... it's still a work in progress. Everyday I read posts from the RUL list and AlwaysUnschooled and continue to be truly inspired. I feel as though I am mustering up the courage to write to these groups to ask people about their defunking process. Surely there must be others who have embarked on these journeys with as much baggae as I... and to have to deprogram to enjoy life with your truly amazing children, is something I am more than willing to do, day in and day out...

One day... when I have internalized and processed enough to muster up and ask... one day...

Swimmin' at Grandma's

Who would have known... after a morning full of thunderstorms, the weather turned around for the better... the best even. We headed to Grandma's in Lincoln Park to catch up with her, have dinner, and enjoy a beautiful summer evening. Grandma pulled out the kiddie pool! Man did we have fun! The water was sub-zero, but that sure did not stop this little skinny dipper! And once he got his mits on the hose... you'd just better run for cover! Summer's just beginning!

Family Homeschool Summer Camp

What a fantastic day! We have this fantastic little group of moms and children who meet Mondays throughout the summer for our 2nd annual Family Homeschool Summer Camp. Today was our "Music and Movement" day and Laura did such a phenomenal job! She took us on a tour of the world through music. We reached several countries around the world (mapped out on a world map with stickers!) all through music. It was so much fun, thoroughly active and enlightening. We sang in Italian, and German. Danced to Caribbean... played peek-a-boo with scarves and clapped rhythms with spoons and rocks!

To add to it, I biked to class today. So with kids in tow, I was able to get a good 13 mile exercise in! I feel great, and the kids passed out by 7:30pm! Yippy! Time to putz around on the internet!

Where to start...

This fantastic new revolution is just reaching my finger tips. I am most thrilled to venture into this new self-expression endeavor. Possibilities are continuously endless. Welcome to Jarjusey Kunda...